So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
