I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize