There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
