Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
