We're facebook friends in real life
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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