Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
