Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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