Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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