I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
