yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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