3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
