Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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