So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
