The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I puked a lego.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
