Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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