my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize