OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
