Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
