He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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