ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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