Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize