Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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