Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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