Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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