To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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