All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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