i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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