I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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