Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have fence marks all over my body
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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