mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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