Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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