im drinking this country out of the recession.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
