I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
