what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
