3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
