you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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