with your own penis?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Randomize
