Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
