this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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