I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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