what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Pants are for mortals
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
