you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
