her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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