sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
