I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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