I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
