I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also, beer. Big fan.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
