ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize