it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
