I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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