There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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