My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
