Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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