So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Semen is not good for contacts.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
