WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize