I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
