Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
its not stalking. its research.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
