We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
