I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
