bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
