Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
