That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
