debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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