imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
