Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
