peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize