It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
