are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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