Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
