whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
this just has baby written all over it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
