I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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