Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
