Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
