Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize