Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
